Key words: science humor,Improbable Research,Ig Nobel
The mini-journal of inflated research and personalities. Published by The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) at The MIT Museum
Items marked (*) are reprinted in every issue.
We are very pleased to announce: You can now become a charter subcriber (whatever that means) to The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR). The magazine will appear on your doorstep 6 times per year. For details, see section 1994-03-11 below. PLEASE SPREAD THE WORD!!!!!!
We AIRheads continue to receive queries from former readers of The Journal of Irreproducible Results (JIR) hungry for details of why the entire staff (1955-1994) of JIR felt it necessary to resign from that publication and create The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR). The matter is explained in news reports in The Scientist (July 11), Science (June 24) and Nature (June 9). Details can also be obtained by emailing a request to air@mit.edu.
Would the Scottish reader who mailed a kilt to the AIR editorial office please inform us of your address? We are otherwise unable to send you a letter acknowledging that the contribution is tax-deductible.
Effective with this issue of mini-AIR, we must discontinue our popular data feature "The 'The' Count." "The 'The' Count" reported how many times during the previous month the the word "the" appeared in major metropolitan newspapers in 162 cities. If and when Internet sites in Asia and Australia agree not to censor the data, we will resume publishing the column.
The winner of the CAT scanner lottery is Norman F. Lee of Hong Kong. Second prize, a wooden tongue depressor, was won by Traian Mihaescu of Iasi, Romania.
by Steve Mirsky
New York City
The recent report from CSIPI [1] on the high fat and salt content of Mexican food, though long overdue, still neglects to implicate the myriad other health dangers consumers face when dining in Mexican restaurants.
The plates upon which Mexican food is traditionally served can be very, very hot, indeed approaching the "yip yip woo hatcha" stage. Contact between said plates and human skin can result in tissue damage followed by vigorous hand waving and blowing that in turn can cause hyperventilation.
A little-discussed danger of Mexican dining is the finite probability of encounters with roving Mariachia bands. A condition known as Castanet Culjone, though rare, is particularly painful and debilitating. In addition, the small mobile orchestras are exceptionally annoying, which can lower the immune response.
Finally, there is the much observed but little discussed "twice-burned" phenomenon, consistent with the relative indigestibility of certain key ingredients of Mexican food that register particularly high on the Scoville Organoleptic Test (the official scale of hotness)[2]. At least one Navy test has shown that window cleaning fluid, especially if it contains ammonia, can be an effective topical neutralizing solution for SOEYYWH (Sudden Onset Egress Yip Yip Woo Hatcha)[3].
1. The Center for Science in the Public Interest
2. "Peppers," by Amal Naj, Vintage Books, 1992, p. 25.
3. Personal communication to the author. A Naval Academy graduate reports that his roommate at Annapolis used to spray his (the roommate's own) anal region with Windex after a spicy meal.
by Susan Andersen, Lennox University, London, U.K., and Bernadette Highwood, University of Massachusetts, Amherst, Massachusetts
In virtually every culture, people who have generous, kind dispositions are described as being "sweet." However, this term is usually reserved (by other adults) for individuals who have reached a certain age. We conducted a cross-national study[1] to determine how "the minimum age of adult sweetness" varies from country to country. Our results our presented below.[2]
Country Age (Number of people surveyed) ======= === ========================= Argentina 51 5 Australia 64 550 Austria 58 69 Belgium 57 57 Brazil 56 179 Bulgaria[2] 90 1 Canada 58 867 Columbia 59 2 Costa Rica 58 2 Croatia[2] 114 1 Denmark 59 59 Ecuador[2] 3 1 Estonia 63 7 Fiji[2] 98 1 Finland 67 85 France 14 89 Germany 84 357 Great Britain 64 1222 Greece 58 12 Hongkong 51 17 Hungary 59 4 Iceland 66 7 India 50 27 Ireland 60 41 Israel 75 124 Italy 55 60 Japan 62 41 Korea 58 3 Kuweit[2] 206 1 Malaysia 54 6 Mexico 59 14 Netherlands 50 178 New Zealand 64 103 Norway 62 80 Peru 50 2 Poland 67 12 Portugal 58 29 Romania[2] 714 1 Russia[2] 4 1 Saint Lucia[2] 1 1 Saudi-Arabia[2] 91 1 Singapore 58 27 Slovenia 69 2 South Africa 50 75 Spain 48 33 Sweden 48 143 Switzerland 69 94 Taiwan 61 10 Thailand 54 10 Turkey 58 10 USA 68 12934
1. Due to space limitations,we cannot list here the many national agencies that helped us carry out the survey. We gratefully acknowledge their assistance.
2. Data may not be reliable for countries that reported fewer than two responses to the survey question.
Taxonomic and analytical text prepared by Emmert Lowery, Jr. This item is on exhibit at The MIT Museum.
Item #786-4591-089 Ferdie The Cow
This fiberglass bovine, measuring eight feet in length from tail to snout and four feet tall at the shoulders, appeared on the morning of October 31, 1979 perched atop MIT's 150 feet tall Great Dome. The previous night Ferdi had been, "liberated" from its home in the Hilltop Steak House in Saugus, Massachusetts, by an unidentified group of MIT students. Ferdi's visit to the Great Dome attracted wide media coverage, and the Hilltop management took it in good stride, displaying Ferdi with mortar board and diploma after its return home.
Ferdi returned to MIT in 1990, as part of the MIT Museum's exhibit on science humor. Since then she has served both as exhibit artifact and landmark. "Take a right at the cow," has become a standard instruction to visitors.
Research reports that merit a trip to the library:
"Identification of Gourmet Meat Using FINS (Forensically Informative Nucleotide Sequencing),"
by Alistair Raymond Russel Forrest and Patrick Robert Carnegie., "Biotechniqes," 1994, vol. 17, no 1, pp. 24-26. The report reads in part:
"To protect both producers and consumers from illegal substitution of cheaper meats for expensive meats, it is necessary to have tests available that are effective with both cooked and processed meats.... This high cost of development cannot be justified for gourmet meats, such as emu, crocodile, and buffalo... As an example of the application of the improved FINS technique, a sample of an emu shish kebab ordered at a local restaurant was analyzed..." It was found that the "emu" shish kebab was actually buffalo shish keb.
(Thanks to Gene Cutler for bringing this to our attention.)
"An Automated Feeding and Testing Device for Elephants,"
by Charles W. Hyatt, Andy T. Richardson, Bruce W. Copeland, John R. Lehnhardt, "IEEE Transactions on Instrumentation and Measurement," Vol. 43, No. 1, February 1994, pp 100-101. The abstract reads:
"An automated feeding and testing device was developed to provide behavioral enrichment and research instrumentation for the elephants at the National Zoological Park/Smithsonian Institution in Washington, DC."
(Thanks to Steve Goldstein for bringiing this to our attention. Goldstein points out that this device may be the world's biggest touchpad keyboard.)
(We welcome your suggestions for this column. Please include full citations. If possible, please send us a photocopy of the paper.)
Pastore Hall Auditorium (Chemistry Dept.) Spons. by URI Sigma Xi and URI Dept. of Chemistry For info: Prof. Louis J. Kirschenbaum kirschenbaum@chm.uri.edu 401-792-2340
Kresge Auditorium,MIT, Cambridge, Massachusetts. You are cordially invited to attend.
An ongoing exhibition of extraordinary humor at MIT from prehistoric times through the presen. [NOTE: The police car that recently materialized atop MIT's Great Dome is now in storage at The MIT Museum.]
The MIT Museum
265 Massachusetts Avenue, Cambridge, MA 02139 USA
(617) 253-4422 (ktl@mitvma.mit.edu)
details TBA
For info call Dianne Miller, (708) 747-5651
Stouffer Harborplace Hotel, Baltimore, MD The society recommends early reservations. Info: (518) 387-7942
***
In honor (?) of the new book, "Sex As a Heap of Malfunctioning Rubble," (see below) the books's editor and many of its other authors are barnstorming North America, doing readings/slide shows and presenting current trends in improbable research.
Stops on this first leg of the tour included:
POWELL'S TECHNICAL BOOKS, Portland, OR;
UNIV. OF PORTLAND;
MICROSOFT, Redmond, WA;
UNIV. of WASHINGTON, Seattle;
UC BERKELEY;
3DO, Redwood City, CA;
"WEST COAST LIVE" (NPR); U CHICAGO;
NORTHERN ILLINOIS U;
SCI-FI MINICON, Bloomington, MN;
BROOKHAVEN NAT'L LAB;
COLUMBIA PRSBYTERIAN MEDICAL CTR;
NEW YORK MENSA CLUB;
CORNELL U. MEDICAL CENTER;
BRYN MAWR COLLEGE; FRANKLIN INSTITUTE, Philadelphia;
ARMY RESEARCH FORUM, Alexandria, VA;
ENVIRONMENTAL PROTECTION AGENCY, Washington, DC;
CONGRESSIONAL OFFICE OF TECHNOLOGY ASSESSMENT, Washington, DC;
LIBRARY OF CONGRESS, Washington, DC;
MARY WASHINGTON COLLEGE, Fredricksburg, VA;
NAVY RESEARCH LAB, Washington DC;
NATIONAL INSTITUTES OF HEALTH, Bethesda, MD;
HORN POINT ENVIRONMENTAL LAB, Cambridge, MD;
TECHNICON SCI-FI CONVENTION, VIRGINIA TECH, Blacksburg, VA;
CEBAF NATIONAL LAB;
U CINCINNATI;
AMERICAN CHEMICAL SOCIETY, Cincinatti, OH;
OHIO STATE U;
CORNELL UNIVERSITY;
MIT ALUMNI CLUB of NEW HAMPSHIRE:
THE NEXT LEGS: Invite us to your place!! Other events are being organized now. If you would like to be a host/instigator for an Improbable Science Event for 50 or more people at your city, university, hospital, research center, high school, book store, etc., ASAP please contact the editor .
CALL FOR PAPERS on the topic: "A Knot Theorist's Analysis of City Street Maps." We are seeking a series of cross-disciplinary reports in which the mathematics of knot theory is used to analyze the city street maps of Tokyo, London, Buenos Aires and other complex cities. Please include maps and relevant diagrams.
CALL FOR SLIDES AND X-RAYS that show unexpected shapes (swans, chickens, elephants, the Eiffel Tower, dogs, fish, smiley faces, ships, trains, Bart Simpson, Margaret Thatcher, etc., etc.). The most outstanding of these will appear on the cover of AIR.
CALL FOR NOMINATIONS for the 1994 Ig Nobel Prizes. Ig Nobel Prizes are awarded for achievements that cannot or should not be reproduced. Nominations may be submitted, anonymously or otherwise, by e-mail or by standard mail.
The mini-Annals of Improbable Research (mini-AIR) publishes news about improbable research and ideas. Specifically:
A) Haphazardly selected superficial (but advanced!) extracts of research news and satire from The Annals of Improbable Research.
B) News about the annual Ig Nobel Prize ceremony.
C) News about other science humor activities intentional and otherwise.
AIR is a new magazine produced by the entire former editorial staff (1955-1994) of "The Journal of Irreproducible Results (JIR)," the world's oldest satirical science journal. The new magazine's co-founders are Marc Abrahams, who edited JIR from 1990-1994, and Alexander Kohn, who founded JIR in 1955 and was its editor until 1989. AIR is published at the MIT Museum in Cambridge, MA. AIR's editorial board consists of more than 40 distinguished scientists from around the world including seven Nobel Laureates. Every October, AIR and the MIT Museum produce the Ig Nobel Prize Ceremony, honoring people whose achievements cannot or should not be reproduced.
The Annals of Improbable Research (AIR) publishes original articles, data, effluvia and news of improbable research. The material is intended to be humorous and/or educational, and sometimes is. We look forward to receiving your manuscripts, photographs, X-rays, drawings, etc. Please do not send biological samples. Photos should be black & white if possible. Reports of research RESULTS, modest or otherwise, are preferred to speculative proposals.
Articles are typically 500-2000 words in length. Articles intended for mini-AIR should be much shorter. Please send two neatly printed copies. Alternatively, you may submit via e-mail, in ASCII format.
Because of the volume of submissions, we are unable to acknowledge receipt of printed manuscripts unless they are accompanied by a SELF-ADDRESSED, ADEQUATELY STAMPED ENVELOPE.
The first issue of AIR will appear in late autumn. A large number of subscribers would make it possible to accelerate the schedule, so please pass the word to anyone else who might like to subscribe!
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The USENET news group clari.feature.imprb_research presents a syndicated weekly column of reports extracted from The Annals of Improbable Research. The material presented there is different from what appears here in mini-AIR. [Please note: The news group is available to you if and only if your Internet site subscribes to the Clarinet newsgroups.]
"Sex As a Heap of Malfunctioning Rubble (and further improbabilities): More of the Best of The Journal of
Irreproducible Results,"
Marc Abrahams, editor.
A collection of dangerously potent science humor, much of it written by the people who have now founded AIR. With riveting photos, x-rays and eye charts. Workman Publishing, New York, 1993. ISBN 1-56305-312-8 $14
"The Journal of the Institute for Hacks, TomFoolery, and Pranks at MIT,"
by Brian Leibowitz.
A complete history, lavishly illustrated with inspirational photos, of the world's leading institute for elegantly conceived, engineered, and connived collegiate practical joking.The MIT Museum, Cambridge, 1988. ISBN-0-917027-03-5 $24
Both books are available from the MIT Museum. The prices quoted here include shipping/handling to any destination at or above sea level. For expedited Air Mail Service to locations outside the US, add $12 to the order. Otherwise, we'll ship book rate. These books can also be found in many libraries and bookstores.
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(c) copyright 1994, The Annals of Improbable Research
Editor: Marc Abrahams (marca@mit.edu)
Chairman of the Editorial Board: Alexander Kohn
Tech Support: Christopher Small (chris@das.harvard.edu)
Associate Editors: Mark Dionne, Stanley Eigen, Jane Patrick
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Authority Figure: Barbara Linden
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IMPORTANT -- The Annals of Improbable Research is IN NO WAYassociated with
the name "The Journal of Irreproducible Results" or with the publisher of "The Journal
of Irreproducible Results"
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